TWO SCENTS
By Andy Cowan
I recently came upon an honest test… of my worth… as a human being. Couple weeks ago, My ATM spit out twenty bucks more than I had coming to me. And I’m an honest enough person to tell you that my worth as a human being is twenty bucks more than it used to be.
Rationalizing that it was long overdue interest on my non-interest-bearing checking account, I set off for the post office, where I was about to receive even longer overdue interest. An attractive woman in line directly behind me complimented me on my cologne. I thanked her. I wasn’t wearing any. The cell phone babbler in front of me was. I took advantage of another guy’s smell! Ol”fact”ory deception… under the guise of male – m-a-l-e fraud.
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SCARY STORY
by Julio Martinez
In the fall of 1992, I was working fulltime as senior publicist and promotional writer for KCET, public television for Southern California. We had just filmed an educational special for PBS called “Count On Me.” It was going to be screened for the underwriters at a special gala to be held at the Smithsonian Institution in Washington D.C. I was representing the station at the event.
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RICHARD WIDMARK
by Chiwan Choi
i hold the button down with my thumb until the television zaps to black and jump toward the door. i bend down and grab my three year old adidas, stained with melted manhattan snow and 4 a.m. JMZ rides into bushwick, as my father’s footsteps grow louder down the stairs. i fling the door open and run out, shoes still in hand, into the los angeles morning that i have moved back to. i can’t face him today, not today, not when the cable’s been disconnected again, not when he doesn’t know that i have failed at everything.
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ACTUAL SIZE
by Conrad Romo
I lied and for my sin I was rewarded with a half days work in a Mexican Western. The film was called Rio de Oro. Right before the director yelled action he said to me, “don’t fuck up! ”
I lied about everything on my resume to get this job. I said I rode horses, that I was a golden gloves boxer, that I spoke Spanish fluently and it was these lies and a little scene that I did on public access tv playing a Puerto Rican steambath attendant, that got the attention of the casting director and led to her call. She asked if I was interested in a part in a film and then asked how’s your Spanish? She then began speaking in Spanish. I asked her to slow down and told her that I understood most of what she said, and she responded by hanging up on me. A couple of minutes later she called back offering a tiny non speaking part. I asked if they could pay me at the end of the day and she agreed
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